Not much to say about the happy page.....listed some happy words on the journalingstamp on the mainpage, listed some scrappingstuff that makes me happy (scrappingstuff easily makes me happy anyways btw :P) on a tag and added my love for sheep in another. Yep. Sheep. That's right. Haha...every time I drive past some sheep I *HAVE* to say "baaaah" and I love the sound of "sheep" (sævver!)..just pronouncing it makes me happy!! :D
The scared page....well....I'm glad I got it written down, but it feels very very ...naked...exposing my inner fears just like that..."what scares me most is that I won't be able to protect my children from what I've given them: their exotic look. I'm afraid that they might experience racism and unmotivated violence because of that. I am afraid that Adrian might be more exposed to violence because of his gender. I don't want to outlive my children. I don't want the love between me and Simen to end." Do I have any reason to be afraid? I don't know. I can honestly say that I haven't experienced racism or anything like that myself. Not that I can remember anyways. Being adopted I've most likely had a different experience than foregin children maybe hanging more around other foreginers kinda. I recall an episode when I was like fourteen and I was bowling with some friends of mine, and there were some asian guys there staring at me for a long while and stuff and then finally asking me why I was hanging around with them - the "white" people....and I was like uh?? They're my friends? ...because I had never thought about it that way... But. If something would happen to my children, I know I won't be able to not wonder wheter it happened because of a coincidence or because of their look. And then it'd be my fault. That scares me.I don't want to outlive my children. Children are not supposed to die before their parents! That's just horrible and I don't wanna think about it but - I gotta admit - sometimes I do even though I know it's too silly wondering about all the possible things that might and might not happen.
Statistically it's like, half the people who marries gets divorced. Which will it be for me and Simen? I hope we won't ever have to experience that - the love won't last-part, but uh, the stupid numbers! No wonder I'm scared.
Oh. I also wrote about my fear for spiders and yucky bugs on a tag :P No picture there - are you crazy!? :p TFL&reading :P
