For a variety of reasons, sometimes a couple decides to have a very small private wedding ceremony with a justice of the peace, rather than a full scale wedding bash. Whatever the reason, it is not uncommon for the happy married couple to decide several years later that they would like to have a full traditional wedding with all the trimmings, the one that they did not have the first time around. This is a look at the etiquette and practical considerations about planning a big wedding following a private ceremony.

The Big Wedding Following the Private Ceremony-1There can be any number of reasons why a bride and groom might decide to forgo a big wedding and have their marriage formalized by a justice of the peace in private, however there are a few very common scenarios. Sometimes it was a lack of money at the time of the marriage, and as the couple becomes more financially secure, they decide that they really want the fancy wedding that they missed out on having. Other times, the wedding was rushed, due to a military deployment or a pregnancy. Another reason why a couple who would have liked a large wedding may have decided to have a private ceremony is if their marriage took place shortly after a death in their immediate family. It is surely in poor taste to throw a lavish celebration while the family is in mourning, so a small wedding would certainly have been the tasteful thing to do; once enough time has passed however, a big wedding would be perfectly appropriate.

The Big Wedding Following the Private Ceremony-3Here is the thing: if you are already married, you are already married. When having a formal wedding following an earlier marriage ceremony, it is technically a renewal of vows. Much of what you do can be the same as any first time wedding, but a few changes are in order. Can the bride wear a long white gown? Absolutely. Is a long veil and a train appropriate? Not to be a downer, but no. A floor length bridal gown with a stunning piece of hair jewelry instead of a veil is the way to go. You can still have bridesmaids, all dressed up in pretty dresses and bridesmaid jewelry precede you down the aisle, and by all means, have a flower girl if you wish.

The Big Wedding Following the Private Ceremony-2 As for the actual wedding ceremony, it can be anywhere you wish, from a church to a private club to your own home. Many couples will choose to have the large wedding on the same date as their original wedding anniversary, although is is not mandatory. The reception can certainly be as lavish as for any first time wedding. Just skip the garter toss, please!

Gifts are a large part of weddings, but most couples who are already married prefer to make it clear to their guests that no gifts are required. Never write anything about gifts on a wedding or vow renewal invitation, not even if it is a no-gifts request. Ask your close family and friends to spread the word instead, which is very effective. Should someone choose to give you a present anyway, just graciously accept it and consider yourselves lucky to know such generous people. By the way, a bridal shower is not appropriate for a woman who is already married. You could, however, have a special night out with your bridesmaids; it would also be the perfect time to give them their bridesmaid jewelry gifts.

Perhaps the most fun part about planning a big wedding after a private ceremony is that you finally get to have exactly what you want. By the time a couple gets around to it, the bride is usually mature enough that she is comfortable taking the reigns, rather than deferring to her mother on the wedding details. After years of dreaming, it is truly a delight to see your wedding vision come to life!

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